


Till There Was You

by smileforcastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 19:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileforcastiel/pseuds/smileforcastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has Fallen - and with that Fall he has lost his Grace and sight. Trapped in an unfamiliar inky nightmare for the rest of his life, the lost angel has only two friends to save him. Dean Winchester shows him that just because he can only see the dark, it doesn't mean there isn't still light left in the world and it isn't long before Dean coaxes him into a settled world of love, affection, and sweetness.</p><p>Yet, however happy they may be, there is a world outside the blissful couple and when Sam Winchester comes home from a hunt dying, Castiel can feel as Dean slips away. Everything they know is tested as they come to see that their powerful love may not be so easy to hold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Till There Was You

 

"Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night"  
-Blackbird

Castiel remembered the day it went dark.

His back ached, his fingers tingled, his tongue felt thick and dry. His throat burned like fire as he released a croaky groan, slowly stretching out his arms to touch the terrain. His palms slid over long grass, wringing the soft blades between his fingers. As his body awoke from its numbness and pain bolted throughout his body, he realized he was resting on his back in the middle of what felt like a field. But how could he truly know? It was so terribly dark.

He coughed violently and his entire body shook, sending more shocks of pure agony down from his head to his toes. He moaned again as questions raced through his head. Why was it so dark? Where was the moon, the stars, at least? It was an unbreakable darkness, though he swore his eyes were open. Never had he faced something so horrifying. And yet he could not stand up, he could not scream, and he could not run for he could feel each heartbeat racking against his chest and stinging his veins. No, it didn’t take a genius to see that he was not fit to run. He was sure if he tried to call out; he would only end up coughing blood.

Where is the light? Where is it? Castiel searched as hard as possible in his state, moving his head carefully and gently from side to side for anything. Just a small glimmer, a tiny glint. Something to save him from this darkness, the tiniest sliver to cling to and pull him out of this dark abyss. There was none.

So there he laid, his trench coat sprawled out beneath him, his arms and legs at impossible angles, with shattered bones beneath his flesh. He wasn’t a moron. He really wasn’t. He was simply stuck, tired, cold, lost in a true veil of darkness. Terrified, he screamed out, his voice scratchy, as though it hadn’t been used in years. He couldn’t remember what he said. He couldn’t remember why he was there, or how he had gotten to be there. But he remembered rather vividly the vile taste of blood rising from his throat and spilling out of his mouth as he coughed, sputtering and gargling on the hot liquid.

Castiel’s eyes fluttered shut and his head rolled back, blood dripping down his chin.

 

* * *

 

He wondered how long it took before his eyes opened again. It was no brighter, no happier but was undeniably drier, warmer, and softer. He once again felt out with his fingers, catching blankets and sheets with his touch. A bed. He opened his mouth, just to whisper, the smallest question, the simplest word. But before the slightest sound could slip off his tongue, a hand reached out and took his. He gasped, snapping his hand away from the touch.

“Hey, no. It’s just me, Cas, it’s just me.” A husky and disembodied voice hushed him. It was familiar.

“De-“ Cas started. His voice felt like claws scratching deep into his throat, like a beast trying to dig itself through his neck.

“Yeah. But don’t – don’t talk. Not gonna do any good to speak.”

Cas swallowed down the pain and blinked back tears that he hadn’t realized were rising. He felt the pain seeping through his skin, as never-ending as the blackness that clouded his vision. Suddenly, he needed something to cling to. He felt around carefully, searching for Dean’s hand. A second of searching and instead Dean found his, his hand, scabbed and calloused, tightening around his fingers. It was a hand that had obviously been through much. A hunter’s hand. And, though it was rough, Castiel found sweet comfort in the circular motions of Dean’s thumb massaging gently into his palm. His hand was there. Really, truly there. But he couldn’t see it. Why? Why couldn’t he see it? How could Dean find him in all this darkness?

He wanted to ask, he wanted to ask so much. What had happened? Why had he been lying in grass, bloodied and bruised? Why was he here now? Why was it so terribly dark? But he couldn’t. His tiredness battled him and easily won. It took over his frail and broken body as he fell back onto the soft pillow and let sleep envelope him in its peace.

 

* * *

 

“Cas?” A softly spoken whisper awoke the angel. His body was hit with a wave of nausea and a strange tingly feeling, like something crawling, slithering up and down his skin. He gasped, swatting the tingles with the back of his hand repeatedly. His eyes were wide with terror, unseeing. He couldn’t see it – he couldn’t see it – what was touching him, what was trying to hurt him -

“Castiel! It’s okay! It’s okay!”

Sam. Castiel blinked, hoping to clear his vision. It hadn’t done good before, and it certainly was no help now. Worth a try, he thought helplessly.

“Sam.” He murmured, his voice still cracky but throat operating without the feeling of thorns stabbing beneath his skin, “Sam. What happened? What...“

Silence. A nasty silence, like some kind of foul stench drifting in the air. It was such a deep silence that he feared it would swallow him whole, just as the dark had done.

Sam’s voice spoke again, shaky, “You really- you really don’t remember?”

Castiel shook his head slowly, unsurely. How strange how everything had seemed to become all doubt and fear and pain in such a short amount of time. The silence lingered for a while longer until Dean’s voice spoke up, words deep and clear as a bell as they fell off his lips.

“Cas, you’ve Fallen.”

The words hitched ever so slightly on his normally strong voice. Like a crack in a sturdy window. The same crack that seemed to form in Castiel’s throat. Or maybe it was more of a lump, a blockage that held back the words he was trying to say. It wasn’t supposed to be a challenge – to speak. It was supposed to be so simple.

_It’s okay, I should have known. I’m just happy I’m alive._

Castiel worked on swallowing down the lump, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t speak and he couldn’t see and he couldn’t feel.

“And… we think that when you Fell. Well, you said before that it’s different for every angel. We think that something happened and you… Cas, it’s just… you won’t be able to see anymore. We think the Fall made you blind.” Sam whispered quietly, yet so loud against Castiel’s veil, “I’m so sorry.”

Those words rang through his brain like a headache. Over and over, an echo in his head that wouldn’t stop.

Castiel couldn’t help it when he brought his hands to his face and sobbed.


End file.
